crunchimomma- Heather Spergel

Author, Mom, and Creative Nut!

Attachment Parenting … how did we stumble upon this?

I had NO IDEA what Attachment Parenting was before we had my first child.  My doula mentioned Attachment Parenting and sleeping with our child and I thought she was off her rocker.  SLEEP with my CHILD?  That’s what a co-sleeping NEXT TO THE BED or a crib is for! What a nut (I THOUGHT).  

Well I had a CLASSIC Fussy baby… High need type situation… my child wouldn’t calm down, was sensitive to noises, cried… I found that he was much calmer with my choice to nurse on demand (and he demanded it day and night, every hour and for hours at a time!).  I instinctively slept with my child to keep him closer so I could keep my sanity and nurse him easier.  I sat and cried to Maria at the Postpartem Place in Chatham, NJ.  She looked at me knowingly…”You have a high need child!”  She pointed at the Dr. Sears book on her shelf.  She said, JUST NURSE HIM.  Can’t leave the bed for a bit or the rocker? Nurse him… it’s ok.  So I did.  Thank goodness!

http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Book-Everything-Revised/dp/0316778001

I went through this book and others like they were my very food and water.  I read everything on this website: 

http://www.askdrsears.com/

… yes this made sense!  Sure my son had a difficult birth.  Therapies by my husband and another gentle healer helped… plus Attachment Parenting!  I developed the concept for myself that if I meet the need it will subside… fight the need expressed by my baby and it will grow or continue.

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/principles.php

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I started using a sling:  http://www.mayawrap.com/  … and what a difference this made in my life!  I could shop (while nursing), type (while nursing), rock and fall asleep without dropping my baby (and nurse), fold laundry (while baby sleeps), go for a walk and not push a stroller (great exercise).  SLINGS and baby carriers saved me! 

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So I believe we go into parenting based on what we see others do, how we were raised of course, and by the very NEEDS of our children- if we take the time to listen to those needs.  

I COULD have put my son in a crib.  I COULD have hired a baby nurse or a sitter.  I COULD have sleep trained him or weaned him before he was clearly ready.  I could have offered him cereal before he was ready with the hopes of getting sleep, but didn’t.  I COULD have parented him based on MY need and not his.  WHY?  Why push away his needs and his communication for my own good?  I’m raising a conscious boy, aware of his feelings, confident in his ability to communicate.  … and I love it… and him!  Childhood is precious and so short.  My sacrifice for my children… SO WORTH IT!  Pay now, not later (Fingers crossed).  

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Oh the criticism I got… the picking and questions about what we chose to do with our children (and still choose) …. OY VEY!  YES, I’m holding my baby while he naps, YES fine, call it SPOILING if you want.  Honestly, at the end of the day, I answer to myself (while looking lovingly at my kids and husband). (I say this sticking my tongue out at those that want to pick at me).

Parent fearlessly I say!  Do what feels right and give the type of treatment you wish you received as a child (not trying to pick on our parents of course).  

This is an old picture… but still sweet.  Image

Heather

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    1. Attach-Me-Who-Wha Parenting and Motherhood vs. Feminism « My Cracked Pot

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